Helping my son be himself

TL; DR – 3-year-old is ashamed, so I want to buy light up shoes to wear with him, but I’ve got huge feet and can’t find any. Help!

My son is three. He loves Frozen and has a few Elsa items (backpack, light up shoes, etc.), which he picked out himself. For two days last week we sent him to a preschool with his new Frozen backpack and at pickup one of the kids asked my wife why my son had “girl things”. We try to teach our son that girls can do anything boys can do, and that kind of thinking is gaining traction. Unfortunately society still thinks that boys can only do and like certain things, and we’re trying to teach him that’s not right. We pulled him out of that school for several Lord of the Flies type reasons, and put him back in a school he had daycare in before that we really liked.

When we were packing up his backpack for his first day today he told us he didn’t want to take his Elsa backpack, which is fine, we packed up another one for him. Then this morning I asked him what shoes he wanted to wear and he said his Elsa shoes, so I put them on him. He jumped around and stomped his feet watching the lights and talking about how they lit up, but then when it came time to go he threw a huge fit and wanted nothing to do with those shoes and wanted to change to something else.

If he doesn’t like those shoes or anything else, that’s fine, but it breaks my heart to think that at three years old he’s already feeling ashamed for liking the things he likes. I’m going to try to support him, but this is where I need your help. I want to buy myself light up shoes (Frozen would be ideal, but it’s extremely unlikely, so I think I’ll just get plain ones and put stickers on them), but I’m a big guy and I can’t find any in my size. I wear a 14-15 US depending on the brand. If anyone knows where I can get some of those crazy light up shoes in my size I’d be forever grateful. Or if anyone knows of another sub I can post this in that might get me more traction that’d be awesome!

Thank you!



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